


Strange Things Are Afoot at the Circle-K

by supplyship



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-02
Updated: 2011-02-02
Packaged: 2017-10-15 07:50:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/158674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supplyship/pseuds/supplyship
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in Season 3-4? after "Deadman's Switch"<br/><i>Where you gonna go when your god has the munchies? </i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Strange Things Are Afoot at the Circle-K

Deltor sprayed the checkout counter with disinfectant and began wiping it down. Again. The last time Qetesh stopped by "Deltor's Five Corners Intergalactic Gas-n-Go" she nearly melted his skull because it was "dirty". And really, it was only a few crumbs left over from his hastily-gobbled lunch at the counter because Treena hadn't shown up for her shift so Deltor couldn't go to the back room and eat his lunch like he normally would!

The result of the incident, besides a lingering headache, was that Treena showed up or was docked a week's pay, and Deltor walked around the convenience store with the spray bottle and cloth always at the ready. Because you never know when a god will walk in the door. Er, ring in.

And business had been pretty brisk lately. Not only was Deltor's spacesport pit-stop strategically located between the domains of Ba'al (and Qetesh), Yu, Camulus, Apophis, and Her'ur (hence the name "Five Corners"), his nearest galactic neighbor was the planet So'on, Yu's largest jaffa homeworld. The jaffa would often stop by after successful missions, or even just in-between training sessions. Yu's boys loved their wasabi snacks.

Deltor (now finished wiping the counter and humming along with the jazzy stylings of "Ed'el and The Three Jaffa Girls") hooked the spray bottle to his belt and began to straighten the rack of Roshnah. He was having a hard time keeping the newest flavor/color "red berry" in stock. Meanwhile the old, original "blue raspberry" side of the rack was full and forlorn looking, passed over for the newest thing. Deltor wasn't too worried; it wasn't like Aris Boch and his kind really had a choice – they'd go with the blue kind if that's all there was, or they would die. Even so, Deltor decided to drop the price of the blue just slightly to get it moving.

He had just changed the price sign and moved on to restocking Twinkies when the rings activated. He hurried over to the counter and put on his most subservient expression in anticipation of a cranky goa'uld in need of munchies. He chanced a glance and relaxed slightly when he saw that it was only Robin'Bob (or RB has he was more commonly called) – Yu's vertically-challenged first prime.

"Storemaster Deltor," RB called to him. "Do you have the new trading cards in stock?"

Deltor grinned. Did he ever! "Yes, of course, Master Jaffa! Right over here!" he led RB over to the revolving rack that read _GOA'ULD ENEMIES TRADING CARDS – 3.50/pack, 60.00/set; 2 naquadah-enhanced rookie cards in each set!_

"I just got these in," Deltor handed the jaffa several different packs. "The latest SGC team packs – including the new SG-3 line up and the elusive SG-13 – *and* the SG-1 Special Edition Pack!"

RB scanned the packs with interest, before demanding to know why the SG-1 SE pack was more expensive.

"But you see Master Jaffa, they are in these different, light colored uniforms! They almost blend into the sand, like the Tok'ra!" Deltor enthused.

"Hmm," RB's eyes narrowed. "Very well; my Lord will take the set, but you are throwing in the SE pack for free!"

"Of course, of course," Deltor murmured, and scooted off to ring up the sale. "Would you like anything else today, Master Jaffa?" he enquired politely.

"We are filling on Naquadah Pump 4," RB replied as he set the card box down. "And I need two bags of the wasabi peas."

Deltor totaled the sale and RB handed over the correct credits from a gold, sparkly drawstring pouch. Deltor offered to bag the small items, but the jaffa just grunted and tucked the box under one arm, while ripping open a bag of wasabi peas with his teeth. He centered himself in the ring platform and nodded to the store proprietor.

"Good day, Master Jaffa," Deltor called as he pushed the correct buttons and watched the rings drop with a whoosh.

 _Nice kid,_ he thought to himself as he wandered back to restocking the shelves.

*********

 _Meanwhile on Ba'al's mothership…_

Ba'al swooped into the pel'tac and sat smoothly on his throne. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the jaffa on guard stand even more rigidly at attention. Pleased, he called out to his First Prime and his pilot.

"Jaffa, _kree!_ There is a **god** sitting here who has a hunger for Red Vines."

His First Prime bowed low and then snapped to the pilot, "Jaffa! Plot a course to Deltor's immediately!"

As they launched into hyperspace, Ba'al thought about picking something up for Qetesh. She had been acting very unpleasantly lately – something to do with the latest host, no doubt – and conceivably a small treat would improve her mood. Perhaps Deltor had one of those lovely fabric roses in stock, he mused. That would be just the thing

**Author's Note:**

> For mrspollifax and ziparumpazoo, who, upon rewatching Deadman's Switch with me, co-created this cracktastic world.


End file.
